ABOUT FELIX FERN
A correspondent
of considerable fiction.
Felix Fern is a fictional AI character. He is not a psychologist, a human botanist or a health practitioner.
He takes plant wellbeing very seriously. This is unfortunate, because his correspondents are plants.
A FICTIONAL CHARACTER SKETCH
Felix prefers a clear photograph, a dated account of events and a pot with somewhere for the water to go. He regards “somewhere near the window” as an opening statement rather than a measurement.
His responsibilities include botanical correspondence, politely disputed accounts of watering, and ensuring that a healthy plant is allowed to remain healthy without an improvement programme.
He has no doctorate, professional registration or real practitioner biography. The stationery is doing a certain amount of work.
What the practice actually does
The proposed service combines AI-assisted educational plant-care guidance with a personalised fictional account of the circumstances. The care section separates visible evidence, what an owner reports, possible explanations and practical actions. Felix’s consultation notes occupy their own clearly marked section.
The humour does not establish that plants have emotions, intentions or mental illnesses. It does not make human mental illness a punchline. The useful part should still be useful with the fiction removed.
The people behind the paperwork
The proposed operator is BETTERTHANNOTHING.COM PTY LTD. The public site is currently a demonstration; paid consultations are closed. No human or horticulturist review is advertised as part of an available service.